Courtesy to Chaplain Silkor for this writeup:
May 16th, a young lad is writing his paper about eye movement in print
advertisement when an old fart starts talking on comms. His heavy
British voice completely disrupts the lad's concentration. "Sigh,
Dirky's been drinking again..."
"Oi, stupid fucks! Some lazy
shitheads are attacking me and their DPS IS SHIIIIIT! Anyone wanna come
and kill them? They're like sitting on the high sec nd."
"Oh? What they flying?" The student queries.
lame ass proteus, 2 of them, and a gay loki. Ha! C'mon Chappyboy, don't
be a wuss and join me in glorious frakking battle."
Ugh, well I
guess I can take a little break. Chaplain Silkor boards his Goddess
Ishtar and sets forth too the designated location. Maxxor and several
others join in the crusade to save Dirky's ass.
The fleet trickles in
and engages 2 protei and a loki on the hole. Damage gets applied
decently as Dirky calls a primary. But as all chickens do, they
jump to HS. Maxxor notices one of them has a killright which he
activates. Trying to esccape, that Proteus jumps back to J-space, but
more of us are waiting at that side. Eventually he bites the dust. The
other targets disperse as cockroaches in the sun. https://zkillboard.com/kill/38892204/
an hour later, the same guys are camping the HS hole again. Fleet gets
sorted again and we engage. Chaplain takes command "All DPS on the
loki!" DPS gets applied and the Loki goes down, but before it dies, it
escapes again. No glorious death for that <sencored>! The other targets stay
put and call in a falcon. "Main DPS on the Solci, sentry DPS on
the Falcon!" It takes about 10s for the Falcon to give us some nice
Soon after Solci joins him https://zkillboard.com/kill/38893603/
"Argh, well done ladies! You got some balls yet! Gah! Lets go home and have some moar beer!" Dirky exclaims.
landing on our home connection, Saera, our scout that stayed behind
calls out: "Guys! They brought an Archon! It's sitting 20 from
the hole!" 3 people, including Chaplain, warp back to get some tackle on
it. Alas, theyr fleet have some decent DPS sitting on the hole
and the vanguard needs to jump out. Dirky tries to get a fleet sorted
from the home hole, but keeps tripping over his internet cable with his
drunk ass and thus, keeps disconnecting. Eventually, what seemed like
forever, a fleet is ready for combat. But, in that time, the hostiles
had improved its fleet. "Screw it, lets go ballsdeep!" And we engage.
Chaplain starts calling primaries, but the shit Archon's reps are getting
everyone from 10% armor to full health. Next to that, the ECMgus are
screwing over our Guardians. Not for long the friendly reps stay on the
field... The call for tactical withdrawal is made and some survivors make it back home. https://zkillboard.com/related/31002124/201405161900/
(some alterations have been made to the text to not offend those without self irony :)