fredag 16. mai 2014

AAR: Archon at HS

Courtesy to Chaplain Silkor for this writeup:
May 16th, a young lad is writing his paper about eye movement in print advertisement when an old fart starts talking on comms. His heavy British voice completely disrupts the lad's concentration. "Sigh, Dirky's been drinking again..."

"Oi, stupid fucks! Some lazy shitheads are attacking me and their DPS IS SHIIIIIT! Anyone wanna come and kill them? They're like sitting on the high sec nd."

"Oh? What they flying?" The student queries.

"Some lame ass proteus, 2 of them, and a gay loki. Ha! C'mon Chappyboy, don't be a wuss and join me in glorious frakking battle."

Ugh, well I guess I can take a little break. Chaplain Silkor boards his Goddess Ishtar and sets forth too the designated location. Maxxor and several others join in the crusade to save Dirky's ass.
The fleet trickles in and engages 2 protei and a loki on the hole. Damage gets applied decently as Dirky calls a primary. But as all chickens do, they jump to HS. Maxxor notices one of them has a killright which he activates. Trying to esccape, that Proteus jumps back to J-space, but more of us are waiting at that side. Eventually he bites the dust. The other targets disperse as cockroaches in the sun.

Half an hour later, the same guys are camping the HS hole again. Fleet gets sorted again and we engage. Chaplain takes command "All DPS on the loki!" DPS gets applied and the Loki goes down, but before it dies, it escapes again. No glorious death for that <sencored>! The other targets stay put and call in a falcon. "Main DPS on the Solci, sentry DPS on the Falcon!" It takes about 10s for the Falcon to give us some nice fireworks.
Soon after Solci joins him

"Argh, well done ladies! You got some balls yet! Gah! Lets go home and have some moar beer!" Dirky exclaims.

Hardly landing on our home connection, Saera, our scout that stayed behind calls out: "Guys! They brought an Archon! It's sitting 20 from the hole!" 3 people, including Chaplain, warp back to get some tackle on it. Alas, theyr fleet have some decent DPS sitting on the hole and the vanguard needs to jump out. Dirky tries to get a fleet sorted from the home hole, but keeps tripping over his internet cable with his drunk ass and thus, keeps disconnecting. Eventually, what seemed like forever, a fleet is ready for combat. But, in that time, the hostiles had improved its fleet. "Screw it, lets go ballsdeep!" And we engage. Chaplain starts calling primaries, but the shit Archon's reps are getting everyone from 10% armor to full health. Next to that, the ECMgus are screwing over our Guardians. Not for long the friendly reps stay on the field... The call for tactical withdrawal is made and some survivors make it back home.

(some alterations have been made to the text to not offend those without self irony :)